You, Me & Your Startup

A blog post by another stakeholder in the startup ecosystem - the spouse of the entrepreneur. My wife has written this to express the experience which the spouse of an entrepreneur goes through.

'There’s lots that is said about startups, entrepreneurship, funding, investments etc. these days. Also words like co-founder, partner, technology, marketing are not limited to the people working in or as a part of any venture, these terms are now part of so many other individual lives as well, which are directly or indirectly related to that one big thing which is rocking the world today and is called a “START-UP”.  But I still intend to write something about it, which is not said earlier or even if it is I am not very sure if  it has reached many people. I can say this because as a normal 29 year old, I didn’t come across anything like this.

Now what is this flip side of a start-up; it is that part of a start-up which is not directly involved in the functioning of it but has a major role to play in the lives of the people running it, the spouse of the entrepreneur.

And yes I am one of them. My husband is a struggling entrepreneur and has some ‘not very successful ventures’ on his CV. And when I say not very successful, it doesn’t mean that he failed, what I mean here is that they could not secure valuations in the multi-million league. His passion and madness for creating something that the entire World will know about started much before his craziness for me came into his life.

We had an arranged marriage but I think we both were pretty sure about each other. We both had assumptions about married life like all normal people getting married do.

In the initial year I use to be fascinated by his love for his work and used to

think that I would love being part of his start-up and help him in every possible way. Even he made me part of his work with lots of hope and happiness. We used to be very positive and energetic about our work and efforts that we put into it, but as the results were not in our favor, the positivity and optimism faded away slowly. He used to be very low on energy and there was no motivation. Also I realized my efforts and contributions were not sufficient because I was unable to match up to his zeal and dedication. Later I realized the prime reason behind it was that our ultimate ambitions were different. For him it was about creating something that the world will know and he used to believe his existence has a reason and he needs to discover it. On the other hand I was more laid back, never use to think on those lines. For me working was primarily helping him and about keeping myself busy and occupied.

As the years went by, his confidence and mine as well started shaking and it used to lead to lot of disagreements and conflicts. There use to be good days and bad days, which were directly connected to good and bad days at work. Funds used to be challenging as the startup always needs a lot of liquidity and when you have limited resources there are tough choices to make. Despite this, he ensured that I had a comfortable life, because of which he had sleepless nights and stressful days.

What I learnt from this journey of four years with him was that patience is what he always expected from me and when he was low, nothing could shatter him if he had experienced a good day at work. People who are very ambitious are mostly dissatisfied and rarely content. But at the same time, the spark in his eyes when he was motivated would motivate me so much.

Today when I am writing this article I feel very secure and stable in my head because I understand him, his needs, his demands and somewhere hoping he understands me as well. I would not say it is an easy journey as it takes sacrifices, commitment, self motivation because your struggling partner may not be there to motivate you, but nevertheless it will all seem worthwhile when someday you will be called the wife of “ Mr. ENTREPRENEUR” and you will see him happy, satisfied and most importantly smiling.'

(She blogs on justlikethatfrompuja.blogspot.com)